Teen discipline guidelines

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The word discipline means to impart knowledge and skill — to teach. However, it is often equated with punishment and control. There is a great deal of controversy about the appropriate ways to discipline children, and parents are often confused about effective ways to set limits and instill self-control in their child.

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The teen years are notoriously challenging for parents. Much like the toddler years, kids sometimes seem intent on doing exactly the opposite of what we ask. And for some of the same reasons: Their job now is to find their sea legs as a person, to shape an identity, to sort out what's important to them.

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For teenagers, discipline is about agreeing on and setting appropriate limits and helping them behave within those limits. When your child was younger, you probably used a range of discipline strategies to teach him the basics of good behaviour. Now your child is growing into a teenager, you can use limits and boundaries to help him learn independencetake responsibility for his behaviour and its outcomes, and solve problems.

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Logan Tucker had agreed to check in with her mom or dad, Amy and Steven, at the end of each school day. Yet, every afternoon, Amy would return home from work to an empty house—no note and no phone call. Like many parents of teenagers, Amy and Steven wish that they had been clearer with their expectations and more consistent with imposing consequences.

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How useful are rules as guidelines for adolescents? As our children move into the teen years it's becoming more difficult and confusing to govern their behavior by this method. It certainly doesn't work the way it did when they were younger.

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This is the point of view of my year-old daughter. Although she is frequently annoyed when I try to gather what I consider basic information — about where she's going, who's driving, and what the plan is for getting home — I know she is also relieved that someone is watching out for her. Discipline — or, to use today's more popular phrase, setting limits — takes on a whole new meaning when your child hits adolescence.

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As your child turns into a teenager, your parenting role is likely to shift. You may find yourself becoming more of a guide, rather than an enforcer. Teens like to test the limits of their independence.

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If you find follow that following through with discipline is difficult, if not impossible, you are not alone. Discipline is considered by many to be the most difficult part of parenting. Most parents in healthy circumstances want their children to be successful, happy and confident.

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It can be frustrating when your child does not listen to you, or does things you don't agree with. Teenagers are dealing with a lot of emotions and are often going through many physical and emotional changes. It can be difficult to make sure that you and your teen are on the some page.

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One of the difficulties of raising teenage children is achieving the right balance between love and discipline; liberties and limitations; and, independence and responsibility. Too much love and support is smothering and interpersonally intrusive. Insufficient love and support is a form of abandonment. Discipline, if it is excessive and harsh, can become controlling and abusive while a lack of discipline is a type of neglect.


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